Is that what a coincidence is I wonder? Is it paying attention at the right times?
Recently, I have developed DVD attachment syndrome; the main symptom of which is a complete inability to return a book to the library without the urge to rent 5 movies whilst I am there.
Generally, I have the movie constitution of a primary school kid. I like the odd psychological thriller if I am feeling dangerous, or an adventure story, but cannot abide anything with violence, drugs or risky behaviour. Not because I have not had my fair share of experiencing them, but because it's not my idea of relaxation and escapism. It makes me uncomfy when I am sitting on the sofa. 'Passport to Pimlico' is my idea of a perfect film. http://www.starpulse.com/Movies/Passport_to_Pimlico-V37384/
However, the films that I am choosing in all innocence at the moment, seem to be popping out of screen to give me bipolar-coping lessons. F'r instance, I rented 'Eat, Pray, Love'. I find that although I am not a huge fan of Julia Roberts, she is- as Douglas Adams would say - mostly harmless. Javier Bardem on a saturday night (or indeed on any other) would do any girl good, but beyond Javi, it is a film about acceptance of the self and it highlights that meditation can be a real struggle when you begin to make it part of your life. It can often seem too hard, but the benefits come with perseverance. I had reached a meditation crisis and it was reassuring to know that it is quite common. This despite the fact that the film itself had major flaws and the symbolism and cinematic devices were crowbarred in with such finesse that they might as well have just stamped ' POORLY THOUGHT OUT METAPHOR OCCURRING' over the image and we'd have all nodded in sympathetic agreement. http://www.eatpraylove-movie.net/
Then there was Julie and Julia. The awesome Meryl Streep, Amy Adams and Stanley Tucci came out of my screen to sit beside me on the sofa and give me the benefit of their experience . Both women were looking for some routine, some passion to adhere to daily in order to give their life meaning. That the Amy Adams character did her searching through a blog blew me away. Isn't that how I am making sense of my life? I am now up to 7 people who have wandered through accidentally and yet I love this blog. It's saving my life. Amy and I keep plugging away through distraction and rejection with determination because we want to change.
Regular readers (ha!) will know that illness is a flag-point for panic with me and so an impending doctor's appointment had me in a tailspin. But, I remembered the words of that well known philosopher Hugh Grant, who in 'About A Boy' measures out his time in units " Haircut; one unit." So, I planned the time to the appointment in units. I did some painting (2 units) , spent a couple of hours with Meryl and Stanley (4 units) and planned a blog entry (3 units). Horrible wakefulness, moulded into pleasure by me..and Hugh...and Stanley...and Amy... and Meryl.
http://www.about-a-boy.com/
As ever Lesley you say the right things that lead me in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I need to start measuring things in units so that I'm not overwhelmed by it all.
It's that feeling of having lost control over my life that I find so hard sometimes.
Aside from my general scattiness and a tendency for 'things' to happen to me I've always been a person who does things, who gets on with life. The one who others go to for advice or to get things done.
I keep saying 'this isn't me'. Maybe what I should be saying is 'this isn't always going to be me'.
Thank you xx