Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Now that I know who I am..Who are you?

I offer up, this post to readers of Multiple Mum  for the Weekend Rewind. I wasn't blogging in February (this month's theme) but this is an early post  from my first blog and hope it suffices. My current incarnation is Postcard Pam Goes Large!  Come and join me there.
Remind me to give you my suggestions of things to do with shower curtains in a bit. We might need a laugh later and I think that you must have dozens of things that haven't even crossed my mind. Think on't whilst I navel gaze.

I am not sure that I like being self aware.  In fact, I fucking resent it at the moment. I can live with the 'need to write' bit - that's taken as read. Boom Boom! 

It's the knowing I am bipolar that I'm struggling with. I'm wondering whether it's possible to go back to the quack for a refund?**

Or maybe an exchange?

I would be prepared to trade it in for halitosis, psoriasis or ferrets. They all have their challenges. I'd still not have it easy but there would be a margin for mischief.
Psoriasis can be scratched and fashioned into a profile of George Clooney, halitosis can be used as a legal weapon and ferrets, wellies and trouser-legs has always been a popular combination for farcical mirth.

I really liked drinking too much and getting flirty (and the rest Spikey) with someone's husband. I don't want to know better! The guilt and self flagellation for weeks afterwards was very nearly worth it once.

Miss Venice Beach by rickeyrephotoHow else would I have half-learned so many musical instruments or very nearly set sail on a cruise ship,  lead singer with an elderly show band?   Oh stop it! I'd have phoned the kids as soon as I was on dry land. What do you think Pot Noodle is for?

Oh, and my shoe collection is to die for, darling! I know some people splash out on cars when they are on a high but not me, I risked the mortgage for sexy feet.
You don't need to be able to walk in them, art is worth more if it's one of a pair!
Still got a scar on my knee from these ones.

But, I used to be childlike and innocent in the boundless joy that I had. Now, I will never have it again because I know there will always be a heavy price to be paid. There will always be responsibility to be taken. There will always be a voice in my head, telling me that I have drifted into the dangerous waters of Golightlyland.
The tiny oases of unfettered joy in the midst of a difficult life, will never again be there without a bloody great fluttering flag that says 'For chrissakes, take those shoes off and do us both a favour.'  Killjoy!
** Since writing this article, I have had the hoped for refund as we discovered I am not bipolar simply temporarily baffled!

Shower curtains
Have you had a think? Add your suggestions to my list.
Things to do with shower curtains: 

sit, wrap, shelter, fashion into a skirt, have a shower, pretend to be a shower, run a puppet booth, do magic tricks (the floating ball is always a winner). 

Repair a tent, make a tent, make bandages (though they'd be a bit crap) make a flag, lie on the beach, lie in the mud, cut a hole and make a poncho, rig up a partition, provide a makeshift loo door in the middle of a field , tie yourself to your friend so you don't get lost -either pissed or in 
busy shopping malls, shred and use as strips for waxing (ouch!).

Bedding for gerbils, making steam puddings, wedding veil, turban and finally - use for packing your toothbrush, pants and wetwipes in, tying to the end of a long stick and leaving home to seek your fortune.

 Spikey has left the building.x


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